To bullies whose names I can't remember
Maybe you remember me and maybe you don't. If you don't, maybe this will jog your memory.
Fifth grade at Orangewood Elementary in Fort Myers, Florida. It's late 1999-early 2000. There is a tall blonde girl with glasses in your class who's off in her own little world all the time. You decide, for whatever reason, to make fun of her daydreams, and she lashes out with suprising anger at your taunts, which only fuels your desire to bully her. You eventually give her the nickname "Devil Woman." One of you(a black kid whose name I again can't remember), even slaps her at one point.
That tall blonde girl with glasses used to be me. You probably already figured that much out. Here's what you didn't know. Those daydreams of mine were actually schizophrenic delusions. That's right. I had schizophrenia while you were bullying me. As such, I held a grudge against you guys long after fifth grade. Fifth grade me hated your guts.
But that was fifth grade me. I've changed. I'm on medication to control my delusions and angry outbursts. I've been able to logically think out how I exacerbated my own situation and why you guys targeted me in the first place. And now I can honestly say that I forgive you. It's taken me a long time to get to this point; far longer than it should have, but I'm there all the same. I forgive you for being mean to me and I hope you can forgive me for my outbursts.
I know that the chances of you reading this are very slim, but that really doesn't matter to me. This was more for me than for you. Even so, if you someday come across this, feel free to comment. After all, I'm sure you've changed a lot since fifth grade, too.
Inspired by the latest entry in starcrossed_sky 's journal.